Dry Ice?
by jAsMiNeLoVeStWiLiGhT
Summary: Jacob and Nessie get in trouble with Edward... When you review, I'll take you off my hit list.
1. Breaking the Rules

Jacob's POV

I was headed to Edward and Bella's house again to get Nessie. I heard a crash and automatically perked my ears. I sprinted to the site where I heard the collapsing sound. I stifled a sob as I saw Nessie, in a bikini, jumping on cars in the repo lot. Excitedly, she was crushing everything in her way. In her high-pitched tone, she was giggling enthusiastically.

"Nessie...baby, what are you doing?"

With endearment, she laughed and said, "I'm not a baby. I was just having fun." When she saw the way I was looking at her, which was with half-hearted contempt, she looked at the ground and said, "What? No one is around. Nobody will suspect anything." And still… with her high vocabulary at only six years of age, she still baffled me.

"Ok, honey, can we go back home now?" I tried to persuade her into coming with me.

"No!" She screamed shrilly.

"Ok," I gave up. Acting as if I was three years old, I started crushing cars with my massive body. She giggled and jumped more. I heard a gate open but thought nothing of it; I was having too much fun.

"What is that??" he was looking at me with a disdain so deep, I don't know if I could possibly explain it. I picked her up, put her on my back, and ran as quickly as I could. In my mind, I was thinking, oh god.

Edward's POV

Where were they? She told me she was going to get him. Oh god. I hoped to Jesus that I would not have to put him in jail for statuary rape…again. I swear…if that MUTT is out with my daughter… he had better be respecting her. If he lays one dirty paw on her I'll-

"Dad! We're here!" She yelled piercingly through the house. What the fuck was she wearing??

"Reneseme Carlie Cullen!" my voice boomed at her. I never yelled at her.

"What, Daddy?" She looked up at me, trying to act innocent.

"You know I don't allow you to wear tiny bikinis like that."

"Oh cry me a river. It's not that bad." She sneered at me.

"Ness…please. Put a shirt on at least." She was starting to….well…grow. I didn't want to have to break Jacob into a million pieces.

Jacob's POV

I was starting to get angry with Eddy. First, he yelled at my Nessie. Then, he ruined the perfect day I was having by making her put a shirt on over her luscious boo-…well… body. I had to control my thoughts because he was staring at me as if he was going to slaughter me slowly and painfully.

"Yes Jacob, you are correct." He took some dry ice conveniently located by his knife and tongs.

Quivering, I backed into a wall.


	2. Jacob's Revenge

Edward's POV

I swear. That boy had better keep his mind off my little girl and her body. I thought of all the ways to pain him. Maybe I could just put him in a bikini and force him to wear it for a week, flaunting himself every chance he got…

"ALICE!" I screamed. "I need you!"

"Yes, my brother?" she asked innocently. She probably already knew what I planned.

"I need your help. Revenge is your thing…" I started explaining the situation I was in with Jacob and Nessie. Good thing Bells didn't know about it yet. She would break his neck.

"Yay!" she screamed as if she had just won thirty shopping trips with Bella.


	3. Edward's Revenge

Bella's POV

I walked in the room where everyone was. It was weird because they were hardly ever in the basement.

"Hey guys, What's u- WHAT THE FUCK. Why is Jacob chained to the wall? With a bikini on?" He tried to speak but couldn't because of the duct tape on his mouth. "Edward?? Why do you have a cooler at your feet, tongs, and a CAMERA?" I screamed at him loudly.

He dropped the tongs and backed away. "Bella, honey, I can explain. You see..I was framed! Yeah. Thats it. Framed! Nessie put the tongs in my hand and Rose tied Jacob up. You know how much she hates him. And THEN you walked in..."

"For some odd reason, I don't believe that. Do you guys?" I looked at Rose and the gang. They all shook their heads.

"You guys!" Edward looked defeated. "You have known her for how long now? You've known me for all of your vampire lives!"

I crushed the chains holding Jacob and used my fingernail to cut through the duct tape. I looked at Jacob, nodded, and we both ran after Edward.

"Bella...if you love me, you'll stop," Edward pleaded with his gorgeous eyes. NO! I don't need to get lost in those gorgeous eyes right now.

"Oh and by the way, Alice helped him," Jacob blurted.

"I'll deal with her later. Come on, Jacob." I said quietly. We both tackled Edward and dragged him back to the house.

I had to have everyone's help tying him down. Together, we took Edward's clothes off, put him in a purple, glittery leotard (with a matching tutu.) He grimaced.

"What, Eddy boy? It all matches, and it's your style. Isn't this better than what you planned to do with me?" Jacob gloated.

"When she unties me...I'll kill you," Edward sneered.

"Daddy! Don't kill my Jakey! Please, Please Don't!" Nessie almost cried.

**Thanks again, to CatherineTwilighter. **

**She helped me with this whole story. **

**We were on the phone :)**

**I got lost after that. Catherine was listening to her Kindle read "Vampire Academy" and ignoring me. **

**Review or PM me and give me ideas pleaseeee.**


	4. Proposition

OK. I have a new proposition. For anyone who reviews at least two times on a story, I am going to start making a chapter dedicated to them. This 'proposition' was inspired by: Stargirl100. She thanked me. I got mentioned in someone else's story! Be proud of me.


	5. CatherineTwilighter

June 28,2009

I really appreciate the reviews and hits and such. The person who reviwed 2+ times is:

CatherineTwilighter

THANKS, TWIN. See? You get your VERY OWN CHAPTER. Hehe. Luff ya!

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